"Is this my life? Ahhh... Am I breathing underwater?"

It's a song...and about a month ago, it became my anthem of sorts. Finally, I feel I can breathe again...if only for right now, I'll take it. Am I okay? Are any of us, really? The key difference to me not being okay a month ago and me not being okay now, is the fact that I am now okay with not being okay...which makes me okay. I can laugh at it. Embrace it, even. I am so happy to not be perfect. Did I think I was? Not that I was aware of. Did I think I could be? Who knows...who cares? Not me. I didn't even realize how much pressure I had been placing on myself to "be good"...which is funny, considering we'll never be perfect. Not in ourselves. Not in this messed up, yet glorious life. I am perfect in my imperfection...a big mess and totally loved, totally okay, totally safe. Do I feel that way all the time? Hell no. I am where I am though, and that's right where I should be. I'm trying to stay mindful to be grateful for my challenges and for the growth opportunities they provide, even (and especially) when they just plain seem super sucky.

"And it's over, and I'm going under...but I'm not giving up, I'm just giving in..."

And so sweet it is, to just breathe...